Location: the waves, the ocean

Hoist the sails, raise yer bloody goblets, ahoy & onward me laddies!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Long Has It Been

Long indeed, laddies, since last me pen touched me parchment, but for the mild exception of self-defense on another blog, aye, but me travels have rendered me refreshed & exhausted both lads, if ye can such a thing fathom. Me crew & the good fortune of tide & current conspired to put me ship in the baths of equatorial waters, lads, where the plunder be brilliant & the sheen of the argent blade shines forth like the savage dentistry of the spanish pirates of yore, aye. Me hull be brimming, lads, with the various & sundry items me cannons did encourage, & among the items me crew & I came upon:
1. a velvet bag full of tacks
2. an inflatable human doll adorned in such a maner that one is led to believe it is meant to resemble Ronald McDonald
3. yet another shrunken head, lads
4. one dozen Viking helmets in various states of disrepair
5. one dozen fake beards
6. one jar, spirit gum
7. the goblet commisioned by Louis XIV for his son's baptism
8. thirteen cases of coconut rum
9. three fine cockatoos of fine plumage & well-cut jib
10. a yellow balloon with the word "flatulence" written upon it in black marker
11. a black marker
12. calico eye patches (2)
13. an ivory-cut pegleg which me crew shall shape to fit
Aye, the bounty exceeds the space of me memory lads, but suffice it to know I'll divulge as me mind unfurls from this long trip. The battling be easy, the warring but a minute gesture, lads, compared to the savagery me eye has seen. These be poncies, equator-hugging lads with nary a clue of far shores & farther battles. The spoils they come with naught but a demand or two, lads, & the slap of the blade across the face of the rival captain.
More to come on it, lads, for now me attention turns to me plunder.


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