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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Yours, H. Dagger

Lads & maties alike, there be some confusion of late o'er the verity of me identity & methinks it prudent both for yer cap'n to speak to it & for naysayers to leave well enough alone, lest they should find themselves confronted bodily with me identity itself, brandishing, as it is prone to do, an armada of variously sharpened utensils at the ready for skin-spelunking. Aye, so here it be, laddies: me name is Henry Dagger. Aye, it be that simple. There be plenty of ontological & phenomenological quandaries that attend to me being, aye, as for all, & me history be a blurry patchwork of half-recalled moments, but be assured lads, as long as blood has pulsed through me veins, since infancy aye, yer cap'n has been asea, wond'ring after his own dubious origins. Incredulous? Yer cap'n could give a flying fuck, lads, at yer incredulity, & be assured if ye stand before me slack-jawed asking me for proof of identification me hook'll provide what ye need. So be off with ye & tend to more important matters, lads, for a cap'n wavers not in his word.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Hjört Inglebørn, Viking said...

Dagger! A thousand curses on you. There is an ancient story in my land that a stray wolf is gnawing at the tail of a snake, which in turn is eating the roots to the tree that forms our world, whose leaves are slowly being eaten by an ageless caterpillar. Yes, and when the wolf finally swallows the snake, and the snake finally gnaws through the roots, and the caterpillar finally digests all the leaves, so this world will end in the terrible battle of Ragnarok. What has this to do with your identity? All the while you were but a scurvy gnat getting in the wolf's eye, eating mold from the snake's skin, and sitting idly by to watch the caterpillar at work! By Odin's beard I curse you!

5:39 PM  
Anonymous Margaret Jefferson said...

Scurvy dog juice. Drizzlin' pukejelly. Marmalade McDrool Pizzle

8:17 PM  
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