h. dagger's adventures at sea

Location: the waves, the ocean

Hoist the sails, raise yer bloody goblets, ahoy & onward me laddies!

Friday, February 24, 2006

The Tale of Me Absence Involving the Muleshark, Mutiny, &c. Carried Further...

So there I was, laddies, poised on not one, nay, but 'twixt two cusps of certain peril, such as me good eye had not espied in some considerable time. It be not fitting for a cap'n to hobble solemnly to 'is own demise, lads, nor for such a pirate as meself to hold me hook & hand out for the drawn taut ropes of me bastardly crew, nay, for such would be an acquiescence to the very verminous spirit that beclots the indolent mind of the mutineer. Nay, I say, for all the peril of the seas, aye, for the vicious tumult of a pirate's life, for the warring, the long days with naught but the broad blue expanse of ocean horizon to greet yer wandering, for all of that there be no solution in mutiny lads. 'Tis a depravity of the faculties, a divorce 'tween reason & gumption, aye, that sends a cap'n o'er 'is own plank! Well, lads, I'd not let me own crew take me, nor would I face the odds against their new friends o'er that roiling chasm of wave, where, surely, I'd come 'pon a fate like old Kidd's, hung tight o'er some jetty or jutting shoal, me corpse slowly decaying for all to see, a warning to the pirates of tomorrow, aye. Alas, laddies, yer cap'n took a great billowing breath of briny air into me lungs & leapt forthwith o'erboard, down where keel slices wave, where hope borders precariously on certain doom. Me misadventures below-waters in the past have been many & variously hued, to be sure, lads, & this proved no exception. As I began me descent, aye, I spied the gaping jaws of the muleshark drawing near in no state of repose, lads, but rather, as if held such with a vice or crowbar, hinged at their greatest capacity. Many thoughts swirled about in me head, lads, aye, many a ploy of what a cap'n should do in such a case as this, & ultimately, me spirit of revenge trumped me spirit of voracious appetite for violence, & me drew the muleshark into swift pursuit of me person, for yer cap'n, peg, hook, & all, is unusually gifted in aquatic maneuvers, & broke the pattern a split second afore I reached the tired wooden hull of me ship, aye, & such was the velocity of the shark, & so great & sharp the multitude of 'is bloody teeth, that his collision in that dark water with me old brigate breeched a considerable hole in the planks, thus letting the water silently roar in whilst abovedecks me mutinous crew knew not the nature of their impending destiny. 'Twas my plan, lads, to lure the shark towards the English brigate as well, but such was the violence of the impact that the muleshark's gaping mouth was left bereft of its teeth & instead displayed the visage of a bloody, gum-beridden mess. There was great pain & suffering in the eys of the muleshark as past me he swam, a plaintive wail rising from the belly of the beast. Methought it the great shame of creation, aye, that we among ourselves must employ our living, breathing brethren for such purposes & to such effect. Methought the world's wonder, in that moment, tainted by the impurity of its recourse, lads, such that methought animal necessity in us all the enemy of awe. I'll give ye pause here, lads, for after such events as came 'pon me pursuant of this, I be made tired with but the slightest stroke of the plume. Afford me a moment's repose, lads, & the rest will in its time be revealed.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Cast O'erboard, The Crisis of the Muleshark, Perfidy of the Crew, Triumph Alas!

Laddies! Aye, indeed 't has been rife with violent struggle, me timely delay. Methinkest that many among ye perhaps thought yer good cap'n a goner, a permanent fixture in the watery firmament of Davey Jones locker, aye, but here I be, of a piece, of sorts, of great tumult & toil revivified & restored, lads, such that methinks the world anew a place of wonder! Aye, for the tale is long & its circuitous details be many, & for me purposes methinks 'twould be best to serialize me latest adventures, so vast & so varied they be!
Aye, last I left ye 'twas a period of quietude boardships. The winds were few but favourable, aye, & thus the waves carried us along with little resignation or resistance, the broad blue ether beyond our prize, the northern waters where old foes & rivals did dip their schooners in the icy sludge. Aye, such a people as called the ocean once 'grass-edge,' but could not keep the word from meaning also 'keel's edge,' so riddled with the complications of inbreeding & incompetence were their forebearers in those tundra-spotted Nordic lands. But nay, I'll not, no, feast 'pon the easy target of Viking dimwitedness, for in the scope of things, such comments I'll reserve for a lazy day, lads, & then only after me writes a ditty or two.
So 'twas that me finds meself on gentle waters & with a restless crew when by dint of providence or damnation we came 'pon an English brigate with a freight of goods bound for the North American coast, aye. Afore their eyes could spot me flag me ordered the British ensign raised on high in place of me Rogers, & ordered me crew to make haste in interpreting the costume of the English seamen, aye, in order to make for a bounty captured with the greatest of ease. 'Twould seem, sadly, that some among me crew had grown mutinous, & though to all visible aspects of me good eye they obeyed me orders, one among them sent the messenger raven o'er ships to the brigate. Unbeknownst to yer cap'n, lads, me jig was up, & as I approached the brigate I saw not the welcoming arms of countrymen, but the gaping welcome of the canonroar & musketshot. Not a moment later, when I turned me person to rally me crew, I was greeted with what appeared the mirror apparition of what lay across that slim chasm of sea, for me own crew had me trained in their sights, their scaboards empty, their rifles poised at the shoulder, a collective menace writ large across their foreboding & scarred & ubiquitously hideous countenences. Here I be, then, says I, a captive in me own ship, an English brigate with a noose belowdecks for me on one hand, me own crew with a dagger to plunge deep in me chest on the other. What was I to do laddies? Patience, & I will the story tell...