Location: the waves, the ocean

Hoist the sails, raise yer bloody goblets, ahoy & onward me laddies!

Friday, February 24, 2006

The Tale of Me Absence Involving the Muleshark, Mutiny, &c. Carried Further...

So there I was, laddies, poised on not one, nay, but 'twixt two cusps of certain peril, such as me good eye had not espied in some considerable time. It be not fitting for a cap'n to hobble solemnly to 'is own demise, lads, nor for such a pirate as meself to hold me hook & hand out for the drawn taut ropes of me bastardly crew, nay, for such would be an acquiescence to the very verminous spirit that beclots the indolent mind of the mutineer. Nay, I say, for all the peril of the seas, aye, for the vicious tumult of a pirate's life, for the warring, the long days with naught but the broad blue expanse of ocean horizon to greet yer wandering, for all of that there be no solution in mutiny lads. 'Tis a depravity of the faculties, a divorce 'tween reason & gumption, aye, that sends a cap'n o'er 'is own plank! Well, lads, I'd not let me own crew take me, nor would I face the odds against their new friends o'er that roiling chasm of wave, where, surely, I'd come 'pon a fate like old Kidd's, hung tight o'er some jetty or jutting shoal, me corpse slowly decaying for all to see, a warning to the pirates of tomorrow, aye. Alas, laddies, yer cap'n took a great billowing breath of briny air into me lungs & leapt forthwith o'erboard, down where keel slices wave, where hope borders precariously on certain doom. Me misadventures below-waters in the past have been many & variously hued, to be sure, lads, & this proved no exception. As I began me descent, aye, I spied the gaping jaws of the muleshark drawing near in no state of repose, lads, but rather, as if held such with a vice or crowbar, hinged at their greatest capacity. Many thoughts swirled about in me head, lads, aye, many a ploy of what a cap'n should do in such a case as this, & ultimately, me spirit of revenge trumped me spirit of voracious appetite for violence, & me drew the muleshark into swift pursuit of me person, for yer cap'n, peg, hook, & all, is unusually gifted in aquatic maneuvers, & broke the pattern a split second afore I reached the tired wooden hull of me ship, aye, & such was the velocity of the shark, & so great & sharp the multitude of 'is bloody teeth, that his collision in that dark water with me old brigate breeched a considerable hole in the planks, thus letting the water silently roar in whilst abovedecks me mutinous crew knew not the nature of their impending destiny. 'Twas my plan, lads, to lure the shark towards the English brigate as well, but such was the violence of the impact that the muleshark's gaping mouth was left bereft of its teeth & instead displayed the visage of a bloody, gum-beridden mess. There was great pain & suffering in the eys of the muleshark as past me he swam, a plaintive wail rising from the belly of the beast. Methought it the great shame of creation, aye, that we among ourselves must employ our living, breathing brethren for such purposes & to such effect. Methought the world's wonder, in that moment, tainted by the impurity of its recourse, lads, such that methought animal necessity in us all the enemy of awe. I'll give ye pause here, lads, for after such events as came 'pon me pursuant of this, I be made tired with but the slightest stroke of the plume. Afford me a moment's repose, lads, & the rest will in its time be revealed.


Anonymous the bo'son said...

Cat-o-nine-tails and rope's end, I've so engrossed meself in your tale I've forgotten the noontime blow of me bo'son's whistle. Shite.

10:11 AM  
Anonymous sven svensen said...

Dagger! Your salt is neither of the earth nor the sea! Your hands are not blistered! You are an ivy league pirate! I will chop off your book hand!

9:03 AM  
Anonymous Crow's Pussy said...

CAP'IN!!!! is it you! for sure me old crow is knowin' tis you! aye! by veery eye I got yur message shipped askance in a glass-tibber-de-tip heer on this island.
i miss ye. aye, i do.

11:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NSU - 4efer, 5210 - rulez

6:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NSU - 4ever, 5210 - rulez

8:20 PM  

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